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 Inspector Clause - Chapter One

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Cheesybanana
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PostSubject: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:43 am

This was a bit of work I submitted for my English GCSE for Original Writing.



Inspector
Clause was an interesting man. Just sitting there in his office, with
a single light flicking on and off. He was just sitting there,
stroking his beard and twirling his moustache with his old, wrinkled
hands. From this you could probably tell he wasn’t young; some
people would even call him a pensioner, but he would simply reply to
that “But I am still young at heart” with his distinct
German accent.


His
office wasn’t the most normal of offices, to be honest.
Everywhere you look there were posters, not of bands, or anything
normal like that. There were elephants, on every single poster! Grey,
blue, yellow and polka dot elephants! When questioned about this,
Clause would reply “You would be amazed how much you could
learn from elephants. They help me a lot, in my job.”


That
wasn’t the only strange thing about his office. It was very
outdated. For example, his phone, bright red. I’ve forgot what
they call it. It’s the one in which you stick you finger in and
spin it round. You know the one I mean!



Clause
always wore the same clothes. A black suit, with a bright red, silky
tie. It feels fantastic to touch, it’s hard to describe how it
feels, the closest to it is probably…silk. His shoes were odd,
very odd. They curled up at the toe, it looked like a spiral! The
amount of hours of joy it gave to people when they saw them. I must
admit, I laughed the first time I saw them!


Inspector
Clause was thinking. Thinking hard. He was thinking about, not a
mystery, but a game. A card game. He was playing it with his faithful
friend, John Fry, except Inspector Clause just called him Fry. Fry
liked to look good but he always failed miserably. He always stank
from the amount of aerosols he uses every day, it must have cost him
a fortune. Clause often teased him about this but he simply ignored
him and carried on with what he is doing beforehand. This annoys
Clause as he likes to get attention, but it made it worse when he is
ignored by a British. It’s immoral.


Anyway,
they were locked in a battle of wits; they needed all their skills to
play this game, the game of kings. Snap. You may be laughing but this
game contains intelligence and fast reactions. Exactly the qualities
a good spy needs. “You will not beat me, Mr Fry”
exclaimed Clause, in his fantastic German accent.


On
the contrary, Inspector Clause, you will find I already have. Snap.”



This
annoyed Clause. You see, Clause isn’t the type of person who
isn’t used to losing. You could even say he was spoilt. However
this time he just paused for a couple of seconds and calmly, without
shouting, said “Damn”.



I
am surprised at you Clause, for two reasons. One. You almost never
swear, at your great standard you should not be swearing. Two. You
lost. You never lose, ever. If I am winning, no matter how
far I am in the lead, you always win.”



After
this statement John decided to call it a night. It was late. 11pm in
fact. He was tired, besides he’s got to drive through all the
taxi’s transporting all the alcoholics from pub to pub.
Anyways, you don’t want to be out too late in the middle of
Manchester. He was going to stop for something to eat on the way
back, he just loves pizza, the succulent cheese etc. Anyway,
back on topic.



Shortly
after this, after packing the cards away, Clause was thinking of
leaving as well. So he packed his bag and put his fur coat on. But
just as he was about to leave, the phone rang. Clause paused. (The
phones ring was horrible to hear, it was so high pitched!) He
slowly turned and walked towards the phone. Who would be phoning him
at this time of night?



Hello,
Inspector Clause speaking, how may I help you?” The phone went
dead. They hung up! Inspector Clause was suspicious. Why did they
hang up? Why were they even calling him at this time of night? His
curiosity overpowered him. I guess he never hear the phrase
‘Curiosity killed the cat’. But it’s too late now…



So
Clause picked up the phone and dialled the number out loud. “One,
Four, Seven, One.” After about twenty seconds (very patient, I
know!) someone picked up. “Hello?”



Hello,
I am Inspector Clause; I believe you just phoned me, am I correct?”



Yes
but you hung up.”



I
did not.”



You
did.”



Didn’t.”


Did.”


Anyway,
what did you phone me for?”



I
would like to invite you to a special party.” Clause thought
for a second. “Why are you inviting me at 10 O’clock in
the morning? The phone went dead again. Clause sat and thought for a
second. He recognised that voice, it was very familiar. It was on the
tip of his tongue. “THAT’S IT!” he
exclaimed. He paused frightened. Nervously, his hands shaking, he
whispered “Steven White”.



Claus
has a good reason to be scared. A very good reason! You see, Steven
is, or at least was in jail. For the attempted murder of…Inspector
Hans Clause.

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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:44 am

It went weird...

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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:44 am

WOW lol what did you get for that?
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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:50 am

It's being marked.

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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:51 am

Were doing poem's lol its so boring
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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:56 am

We do poems once a week and this 3 times a week.

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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:20 pm

We do something like that but i cant remember what it is lol
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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:38 pm

Wow, I really liked that. Great job Cheesy. Good ending. A second part might come out, perhaps?
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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:51 pm

Lol, first it was 11 at night, then 10 in the morning?
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PostSubject: Re: Inspector Clause - Chapter One   Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:25 pm

Cool passage, I would have liked it more if you did not use so much direct criteria so to speak, maybe you could have let the reader infer on somemore things such as his age, but just in my personal opinion. I really like that in stories, when the writer enables the reader to think about these kind of things without being directly told. Again, don't take it personally, just more of my taste.
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