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 The dark side

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Alyssa
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PostSubject: The dark side   Wed Dec 31, 2008 5:35 pm

Prologue: The dark days

My mother, Queen Remiss was protecting me, Princess Sapphire. She was protecting me from the danger outside the castle. The danger was a battle against good and evil. The Dark Lord, Mattiss was trying to get to me and kidnap me to turn me evil. I wasn’t even a year old.

“It’s okay my little one,” said my mother. “I got you.” Her voice was so gentle.

“Queen Remiss!” called one of the servants. “Mattiss is in the castle! Hurry to the escape tunnel as fast as you can!” My mother grabbed me and ran as fast as she could. But it was too late. She came upon Mattiss. Mattiss killed her and took me, leaving my mother dead.

My father was begging Mattiss to give me back. But Mattiss killed him too. So he wouldn’t come to Lord Mattisss’ palace.

Mattiss took me to his own palace on the dark side of the world to raise me to be an evil queen to take his place when he died. He didn’t have any children of his own so no one would take his place. That’s why he kidnapped me.

Now it is years later. I am almost ready to defeat the bright good side of the world in my first battle.
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PostSubject: Re: The dark side   Wed Dec 31, 2008 5:50 pm

Ouch... kinda fast, but good. Keep going, I like it and I edited some mistakes if you don't mind Wink
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PostSubject: Re: The dark side   Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:11 pm

I don't really like this one, sorry. To sad, to fast for my liking.
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PostSubject: Re: The dark side   Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:02 pm

Eh...it was Ok.
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