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 My short story: Nothing left

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Jyo
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PostSubject: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:21 am

Now, I wrote this in an hour years and years ago for an english class, so it may not be that good, but believe it or not I am a pretty good writer. I hope you like this very short story/poem thing, and it does have a point to it. Enjoy, and please, give me feedback, I wrote this when I was like 10 or so. I will post part 2 if everyone seems to enjoy the piece.



Nothing
Left






Here I am, stuck in the deep
depths of misery


As I lie here with a handful
of doubts


Though my life seems like a
novel of mystery


I know I’m being chased with a
number of sounds


My life once used to be
meaningful


As I remember all the prosperity
I had through my tremendous wealth


My wife and I were deeply
soulful


For having the love for our
family all to ourselves


I had a very fortunate life,
and a humungous home


And I lived every day in fame


But soon enough I’ll wind up
alone


And nobody would remember my
name


It started out as a beautiful
day


As I prepared to ride to the
love of my family


But I noticed someone who does
not look okay


Such as a lost soul that seems
very empty


I approached him with a large
amount of sorrow


Asking for spare change, looks
as lonely as can be


As he looks at me with a
large, depressed groan


Ash surrounding his body, his
skin damaged I can see


His clothes were very ragged,
except for this jacket


This nice, brown and clean
coat


He said he was digging
furiously for food when he found it


But still had a sad face and
his clothes were soaked


I spared him a fifty, and his
spirit shined


As a return, he offered his jacket


I said I would not take it, it
was not mine


But he started limping away,
like he got in a brutal accident


I soon found out I made a huge
mistake


I should not have taken it,
and now I live in tears


I heard a loud siren exploding
in my ears


Cops surrounding me, in a
scene of confusion


Grabbed the jacket, And I
thought I was dreamin’


Took out a truckload of jewels
and cash


The man framed me, despite my
courtesy and generosity


The cops pinned me in the car,
stuck in the dash


And threw me in a cell, for a
year of pity


As the long, extremely tiring
year had passed


I try to find my wife and
family with a desperate search


But when I found them, the
door to my life had latched


As I saw them with another man
by a nearby perch


My life has fallen apart, my
wealth and love has vanished


As I lie hear, thinking this
is destiny


Thinking it was my fault,
something I must’ve missed


But now I am with the spirits
of many


Hopping that a little mist of
rain falls upon me


Thinking it is a heartbreaking
dream, and I will wake up to be


The man that was prosperous in
many ways


But now I shed my tears and
count the days


I used to be loved, and people
gave me respect


But now my life is nothing, I
have nothing left.
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Jyo
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:23 am

Ok, for some reason it posted it like that.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:26 am

Very nice mini story.
I liked it.
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Jyo
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:27 am

Yeah, I made it when i was about 10 so it is not the best, but I like the whole storyline, part 2 is when the guy confronts the guy that frames him.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:29 am

I read the first part and that was good but I dont wanna read it all, sorry.

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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:31 am

Wow, I loved it. It actually made me...cry. I mean, this poem short story thing, is really and truely beautiful. I would LOVE to read more, I'm actually counting on it. Gosh, I'm still in awe. Lol...
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BN
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:32 am

Holy crap you wrote that when you were ten? My God I wouldn't have been able to come up with something like that...
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:32 am

Thank you Very Happy I will post part 2 next week. Although I wrote it when i was about 10 or 11, like this one, and I never really finished it, maybe I will go back, finish the last portion, and post it here.
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Jyo
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:33 am

Around 10, I might have been 11 or 12. I dont remember.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:34 am

You should've entered it in a contest and won lots and lots of money. Very Happy lol
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 12:10 pm

Really good poem. I was a good write, too, when I was 10, but now I got worse XD
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Jyo
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 12:12 pm

rofl xp
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Sat Dec 27, 2008 2:08 pm

Awesome poem, and try to not double post.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:13 pm

I love it Smile

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Jyo
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:00 am

Thanks stack, and will do jake.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:03 am


  • Cool
  • Poem
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:09 am

Sad poem Sad Still really amazing for 10/11/12. Here's a poem I made last year for the heck of it.


An Owl Goes Hunting

I hear a vibration-
A mere heartbeat thats all
I follow the sound
Flying fast, but silent
Where was it going?
When would it stop?
Closer and closer
Inches away, and finally
I sink my talons into my prey.

Made it last year so kind of bad...
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:45 am

You made that when you were 10? Amazing! I could never make anything like that!

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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:58 am

Nice one, Lemon. I like that.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:16 am

Yeah, me too, but put it into a seperate topic so all can see your splendor.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:18 am

Yeah, maybe this is not the place lemon, and thanks everyone for your comments
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:30 pm

Sorry, great story Jyo.
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PostSubject: Re: My short story: Nothing left   Thu Jan 01, 2009 1:36 am

Thank you lemon
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