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 The Black Hole, Chapter One

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Ekat
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PostSubject: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:03 pm

Chapter 1: The Black Air

...and there he lay, motionless--- dead. Without a breath, his bravery still lives on today. But suddenly... wow, hi there, reader!

Ah, but let me tell you the story from the START so you can understand it.

It all started with a little boy who was born from an evil maiden. Her name was Linda. Linda knew the black air in her castle would curse her to death. So she created a baby from white, thin, air. The black air was going to kill her, so she just killed herself. The black air destoyed everything; everything except the little baby....

---15 years later---

The little boy, whom the maiden created, was named Rick. Rick was liked by all his classmates in Elementary School, Middle School, and High School. But he only liked Larry--- the first friend he ever had.

---Flashback; 15 years ago---

The little boy was lifted into the air. The boy wondered who controlled the levitation. It was Larry, another little boy. He was born from the ground, when all plants and trees were burned in 231 A.D; the time he grew from the ground. The other little boy, Rick, was born a year later. They both had a lot of fun together...

---End of Flashback---

If only Rick knew that Larry was not only his first friend, but his worst traitor...

END OF CHAPTER ONE


Last edited by Konrada on Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:06 pm

Cool! I'm liking it so far
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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:07 pm

It all started with a little boy
The black air was going to kill her, so she just killed herself


Nice story, so far. Except for the small mistakes.
Put it in MS Word and do a ABC check before you posts, xD.

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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Thu Dec 25, 2008 9:34 pm

Kinda short, a bit hard to follow. I just kinda wonder how a baby is born from the earth or the air? Why was the black smoke killing Linda? I have LOADS of questions.
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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Fri Dec 26, 2008 12:23 am

I liked that story
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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:48 am

The story is good but im asking myself the same questions as avatar.

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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Fri Dec 26, 2008 6:08 am

Maybe you will find out in a future chapter...

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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Fri Dec 26, 2008 8:41 am

Avatarsyd wrote:
Kinda short, a bit hard to follow. I just kinda wonder how a baby is born from the earth or the air? Why was the black smoke killing Linda? I have LOADS of questions.

You'll fidn out soon enugh... plus it's a FICTION story, avatar, so I bet that answers half of your questions Wink
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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:35 am

dakfire wrote:
It all started with a little boy
The black air was going to kill her, so she just killed herself


Nice story, so far. Except for the small mistakes.
Put it in MS Word and do a ABC check before you posts, xD.

He meant the maiden....
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PostSubject: Re: The Black Hole, Chapter One   Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:06 pm

what? i reallky didn't understand that story. Question
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