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 .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.

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Avatarsyd
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PostSubject: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:56 pm

Ok, well, we have ALOT of guys on here, and being a girl I like to right love stories. SO if you can't handle Twilight, I'd stop here. Since you've continued, I'd like to say that I'll be posting ALL my chapters here. I think it's a watse of space for everyone(NO OFFENCE)to keep making new topics. Also, I'm not much of a writer, but I got bored so here's like the prolouge/inside look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Prolouge~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took one last breath and my head slipped into the murky water. I knew this place would be the end of me, but somehow, I was alright with that. I felt complete. Done. Finished.
I reverted back to my memories, how Soccorro, Kieyona and I would stay up til hours doing nothing but talking about boys and listening to music. How Shane's sky blue eyes always sparkled even in the darkest times. And lastly, how Danny seems to be my best friend, and my boy friend at the same time.
I sighed. Forgeting that I was underwater, I had given away my last resource of oxegen. The black water invaded my lungs and filled my head. I looked around, and as usual, saw nothing but pitch black nothingness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So like, that's just part of some chapter in my notebook somewhere. I just picked a random spot that might hook readers.
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:11 pm

That is from New Mood, When Bella jumps off the cliff for fun. Alice has a vision that she does that, but she doesn't see that Jacob was there because he is a werewolf. I do alot of reading Smile

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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:16 pm

I won't read Twilight.
But, this, was very good.
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:18 pm

Well yes, that does happen in New Moon*
But I didn't jump off a cliff and there's no warewolves or vampires. I also remember her description of drowning alot different. Like the current pulled her around and crashed her, AND she actually tried to get back to the surface b/c Edward told her too. I WANTED to die. And I think she only remembered Edwards face as 1 memory. So, if it sounds like plagerism, I really didn't mean for it to come out that way.
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 20, 2008 7:32 pm

Wow.
Twilight/New Moon/Breaking Dawn talk.
Sounds for some reason, intresting..
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sun Dec 21, 2008 5:23 am

great prologue! My writing sucks so compared to your story, the one im making at school would be a waste of time to read!

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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:30 am

So...here it goes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter One, Part One~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe we're doing this..."I sighed as I slugged my green duffle bag into my dad's mini van.
"It could be fun!"Shane looked at me and batted his long eyelashes over his gorgeous blue eyes.
"Yeah?"I responded,"So could watching paint dry."I rolled my eyes lightly and leaned on the vehicle.
A hand landed upon my shoulder and lavander perfume drifted amoung the air.
"Come on,"Soccorro whined,"Tents, soft marshmellows, warm fires to sit next to them, and scary stories... We'll have a kick ass time!"By them, of course, she was refering to the guys on this "adventure". Danny and Shane.
I turned to face her. I was aware that she was EXTREMELY siked about the camping trip. Unfortunatly, I wasn't. She flashed me a warm smile and gave me a quick hug.
This weekend, my father thought it would be "fun" to raid my cell phone and invite my 4 closest friends on a trip to the wild. Or further extent, Bear Lake. There is a reason why they call it Bear Lake, you know. So anyways, my dad had spoken to their parents and reassured them nothing would go wrong. Some crap about him being a boy scout for 10 years or something.So, here we were, Soccorro, Shane and I, waiting for Kieyona and Danny to arrive.
As you can probably tell, I hate camping. For the reason that I am-always have been-a very discombobulated person. I trip over pebbles, I run like a turtle, and I'm as stable as mentos in a Coke bottle. My long legs really are no use to me.
Soccorro, with her big curly black hair and C sized chest, danced her way over to Shane by the garage door. She was in a light blue tube top and some dark blue skinny jeans. Shane, on the other hand, was wearing a plain black T-shirt and way-to-baggy navy blue's. I felt over dressed in my long-sleeved green blouse, black vest, and loose 6-pocket light blue denims'.
Suddenly, a white PT Cruiser pulled up in the drive way beside the van. Kieyona's head popped up.
"What it do shawty!"She annoucced as she struggled out of the car.
"Always late..."I mumbled as she hugged me tightly. My dad walked over to the second vehicle. His pale white skin, jet black hair, and 6"2 figure stood out in the sun. He conversed lightly with Kieyone's mother as he leaned on the roof of the car.
A big red luggage bag ploped to the concrete floor. Unexpectedly, Danny crawled out after it. He shrugged out another blue one and stalked over to place them in the trunk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, that's kinda the first part. Kinda boring, but, whatever.
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:47 am

I.... Can't.... Handle.... TWILIGHT!
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:58 pm

LOL
I'll read it later
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:01 pm

Whoops lol sorry, forgot, I hope I get more readers Very Happy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter one, part two~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kieyona leaned in close to my face so I could see her dark brown eyes clearly and spoke.
"Oh. My. God."Kieyona whispered excitedly."I sat in the back of my mom's car with Danny!"With her eyes brows raised, she squealed softly and added,"AND his knee touched mine the whole way."She was literally jumping for joy. 3 years, and Kieyona Santi was still in love with her ex-boyfriend.
Unfortunately, so was I.
"Aww,"I managed a smile,"I hope he sits with you for the drive!"I lied. The drive was 6 hours. 6 hours of Kieyona's flirting could, no, would be unbearable. I mean, from Phoenix to somewhere in New Mexico, who really wanted to hear fake giggles and terrible pick-up lines?
Naturally, Kieyona wasn't really like us. She was a 5"2, chesty, ghetto booty, all-over-the-place black hair on a skinny face black girl. So everyone thought she was pretty, I suppose. Well, everyone except Danny.
She marched off to Shane and Soccorro to babble on about the car ride. Simotaniously, Danny walked towards me and waved to everyone else.
Danny had a round face with very dark brown eyes that appeared black. His jet black hair and his olive skin made him a true latino. Though, we was wearing a black shirt with some sort of metal band on it and some pulled down black skinny's. With a little eye liner, he could pass for an emo.
"So,"I frowned,"What's with the emo look?"
He shrugged and leaned in to my eye to whisper;"She won't leave me alone!"He paused as the other car drove away."I didn't even ask, or in fact invite her over. She and that mother of hers' just showed! I was hoping that maybe she would give up on a relationship with me if I scared her. Sadly, she just complimented it..."He sighed.
"Well,"My dad said loudly to grab everyone's attention."We're all here and we've got our stuff! Let's get along and get a move on!"
God, he's so not cool.
"Hold up dad! I gotta' grab something!"I lied. I shot inside the house-noisily, I might add-and into the bathroom to look in the mirror. I took a moment to scrutinize myself.
I really am nothing special. 5"6, no ass, D-sized boobs, light-brown straight hair, golden-brownish eyes, and peach skin. Well, maybe I was something. But, my klutziness kinda ruins it all. Balances me out, I guess.
I ran my brush through my hair quickly and ran back to the van.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And that's kind of the end of chapter 1. I guess I'll post up 2 soon, maybe. Oh well.


Last edited by Avatarsyd on Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:05 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typos...)
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:42 pm

Avatarsyd wrote:
"Oh. My. God."Kieyona whispered excitedly."I sat in the back of my mom's car with Danny!"With her eyes brows raised, she squealed softly and added,"AND his knee touched mine the whole way."She was literally jumping for joy.

Oh dear God I hear you Jake
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:43 pm

Well I told you at the beggining of the page to stop if you couldn't handle Twilight....
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:47 pm

I never read Twilight, so I gave it a chance. It didn't appeal to me though Rolling Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:02 pm

Heh...forgot again...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 2, Part 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, Kieyona ended up sitting next to Soccorro in the first set of seats. "Pissed" didn't even begin to explain her emotions towards me. Because, obviously, I got to sit next to Danny in the second row. Poor Shane had to listen to my dad singing David Cook songs in the passenger seat.
Suddenly, my thigh began to vibrate. That only meant one thing.
Text message.
I flip my blue Juke's top part sideways to find Shane texting:
(And I'm just gonna write in text/play form, so my hand doesn't cramp)
Shane: Hey, can I ask u sumtin?
Me: Acourse!
S: Do u tink I'd b krazy if I askd Socoro out?
M: Aww! No! U ttyl shud! U guyz wud make a great couple!
S: I dn't no wher or wen tho....
M: Bout undr the stars, by da lake?
S: U no wat? U rock! Thx, I owe u 1!
M: Np
S: Mmm hmm...Y dn't u n Dany hook up?
M: BC:
1. He dn't lyk me
2. Keke wud hate me
3. Cud ruin r bf-ship.
S: But u 2 r perfect 4 each othr!
M: If only...
Danny suddenly nudged me and I shot the phone closed.
Oh shit! Had he been reading the text messages?
"Hmm?" I faced him and shoved the phone in my side pocket.
"Do you think that..." Danny began with a soft expression. Before he continued, his eyes narrowed and his lips straightened into a hard line."That it is going to be much longer?"
I laughed a bit and replied,"It's only been an hour."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comments? Suggestions? Criticism is welcome!
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:22 pm

You could've made that in another thread. Kind of weird will all that title and random stuff...
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PostSubject: Re: .;:Mishaps at Bear Lake:;.   Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:08 pm

Yes, but I think it's kind of a waste to put so many threads up for just one story.
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